Thanks to my great coworkers I pulled myself out of a minor slump. Between feeling like I had ran down a rabbit trail for 3 days on a project concerning the International Whaling Commission, and having my class rank emailed to me, I was less than excited about my life today. But Elissa encouraged me and on my bike ride home Pandora treated me like I was riding on a magic carpet and someone had planned out the music far in advance.
In all reality, I had little reason to be upset. It’s my own standards and motivations which I hold myself too. Not some crazy boss, or overbearing father. I’m not being battered and abused for pursuing a lofty goal. I’m not being beat down, emotionally, mentally, or professionally. I am not expected to know it all, nor be an expert. I am appreciated for what little I can contribute.
What I do on a daily basis may seem little, however, I was reminded today that some of the stuff I compile will be used at the International Whaling Commission Convention in a few weeks, or will be presented to world leaders, albeit with some major tweaking. The gravity of what I’m researching came crashing into my lap. As excited as I am to be here, to be starting an amazing career, to be clear in my motivations and goals, I have also become very aware that research that I am a part of may just make a difference to issues that matter. Issues that make me shudder in my core. Issues that seem to be hopeless all of the sudden have a glimmer of hope.
Those that seek out movements and causes choose this because they need to get “something” from their work. That something cannot necessarily be defined. But that “something” can easily be extinguished by a hateful, or cruel person, or by a person who lacks the capacity to grow. I am so grateful that my boss appreciates my input. My hope for my future is that I am surrounded by a group of people whom are just as positive and encouraging as my current coworkers.
I will be attending Oral Argument tomorrow for the RICO Ringling Brother’s case. I have not had a chance to read the opinion (Trevor, a fellow intern sent me the citation; maybe I’ll read that for fun here in a few minutes). It is a bit convoluted and I imagine it will be quite awhile before a decision is made but it’s still exciting to attend.
Also I still continue to work on wild horse and burro case law research. I have become quite interested in the Whaling Commission and all the issues that surround it so I find myself gravitating back to projects that focus on either wild horses or whales. Not exactly what I expected to happen but I’ll take it. Every day is a new journey. Every day is a new lesson. Every day is a reaffirmation that I have learned something, that I am growing, that I am in the right place.
After work I met an exhausted Sheena and Ryne for a dinner on the Mall. I was stoked to see a familiar face and enjoy some easy company. We had planned to catch the Marine Band on the Capitol steps but they were exhausted from being tourist, so we parted ways. Stephen and I ran into each other and we listened to the Marine Band for 40 minutes or so. It was quite invigorating to be listening to a band on the steps of the Capitol as the sunset in front of us. It was such an enjoyable experience. I found myself imagining the Mall at the different dates that the songs were written. (And since I have been on a tour or two, I know that at one point parts of the Mall were underwater, or swamp, or pasture). I found that I somehow blocked out the Frisbee tossers, and the Kickball Militia. Instead I saw horses and fancy dresses (oh, how I feel for those men and women walking around in the dreadful D.C. heat in those layers of dresses, or suits). I imagined the President riding a horse instead of being in a car. I imagined the many changes the Mall has experienced. I imagined the ever changing landscape of our Capitol.
I know I’ve said it but again, this journey is amazing. I work with some amazing people. I have made some amazing friends. I have some amazing experiences.
If you don’t want my fire then don’t come around
Ben Harper
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